More Offensive Stuff

What is the deal with sagging? Who told the younger generation that it's okay to show off your underwear in public? Part of the reason I'd be mortified if anyone saw mine is because they're plain cotton granny drawers, but still. I don't care if they're silk boxers with hearts on them, they're still underwear, and they're called underwear for a reason - they're supposed to be worn under your other clothes where no one can see them.

Seeing someone's underwear used to be a big deal .. remember the whole "what color are my panties" scene in Superman? It wouldn't have been much of a scene if they'd been hanging out. And whatever happened to "teacher, teacher, I declare, I see [insert name]'s underwear?" As I recall it, this was not a good thing and teacher was supposed to do something about it.

At least some of them are good for entertainment. Some of them look like penguins trying to walk with their jean crotches hanging around their knees, and seeing a 6-foot strapping teenager wearing 'Spidey' underwear is still a good laugh for me; my male contemporaries outgrew their spidey and batman underoos around age 5, or maybe 6.

When I am the Queen of the World, (we know that's not going to happen but I am the owner of this blog so I can say whatever I want) all saggers will be ticketed for indecent exposure and have to do community service giving out wedgies to other saggers. Hey, I have an idea though .. what about us older folks hanging stuff out that we know those kids don't want to see. Maybe they'll get an idea of what our problem is and change their ways ... "Hey Sonny!" Gramma calls out as she lifts her skirt, "have a preview of what gravity's gonna do to your main squeeze's rack in 30 years!" All you guys that have kegger abs instead of six pack abs, wear your jeans low in the front and a t-shirt that's too short, and all of us whose buttocks hang off both sides of the toilet seat, wear a thong and show some crack. I'm betting the teens will call a halt before we do. Ha ha!

And the other thing that makes me want to yank them out of their rides by the ears and shake them until their brains rattle is the loud music, especially with the bass cranked up. Dude, you're supposed to listen to music, not feel it. You don't like my oldies or country and you sure don't want to hear it. So what arrogant self-centered narcissistic kind of thinking makes you think that I want to have that crap you call music pounded into my head? Or that anyone except you wants to hear it? And hey, guess what, almost all vehicles have radios .. if anyone else wants to hear it, they can play it themselves in their own vehicle!

It is not cool, and we are not impressed or amused when your car audio is making our bedroom windows vibrate or preventing us from having a normal conversation inside our own cars. If you want to inflict that on yourself, great, it's not my problem. Do it with headphones, or inside your soundproofed room. You have no right to inflict it on me, or anyone else. And you better hope I never am QotW or you will be sentenced to listen to a mix of country oldies, disco, rock oldies, and 60's pop in a locked room until you are reduced to begging and pleading incoherently for release on your knees with tears running down your face.

What do you mean, cruel and unusual? How dare you say 'torture'? You have no problem doing it to me when it's your music and I'm the one trapped in my car next to you in traffic.